lil gothic tweety
Felt-tip
 Number of posts : 58
Age : 34
Location : Manhattan
Age : 16
Writing forte/s : Comedy, Poems, paper articles based on opinions
Registration date : 2006-08-11
 | | Subject: Why I love black. Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:48 pm | |
| Black is what I see at night,
Black is what I see at the end of a fight.
No other color is there after an argument.
No other color runs down the white bathtub.
When you try and stare it in the eyes,
Black is all you'll see.
It's the color I will see when I die.
I guess I like black,
Because it is destined for me. | |
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AngelWithTheScabbedWings
Mod in top hat
 Number of posts : 218
Age : 31
Location : Powell River B.C, Canada
Age : 14
Writing forte/s : Horror and Poems
Registration date : 2006-08-11
| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:52 pm | |
| Um wow........... Your avatar scares the hell out of me but th epoem was good. I see nothing rong with it | |
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foaf.scribble
Mod in a tam 'o shanter
Number of posts : 129
Age : 32
Location : England :]
Age : 14
Registration date : 2006-08-11
| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:00 pm | |
| i agree...the avatar is scary but the poem is good.
maybe try and shorten the second line a little?
x||x | |
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Admin
Kips (Big Shot/ admin)
Number of posts : 146
Age : 31
Location : England
Age : Thirteen
Writing forte/s : Weird poetry and awful stories!
Registration date : 2006-08-11
| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:08 pm | |
| Yeah, rhythm is a slight problem. But it's pretty cool and the idea is a great one!  | |
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cathastings
Mod in a crown
Number of posts : 34
Age : 32
Location : Behind you!
Age : 14
Writing forte/s : Umm, does that mean what I write? Poety.
Registration date : 2006-08-11
| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. Sun Aug 13, 2006 5:03 am | |
| I agree with everyone else there. The rythm in the second line is a bit funny, but overall it's good.  It's a good idea for a poem. And yeah, your avatar gives me the creeps.  | |
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fallen_fairy425
Crayon
Number of posts : 12
Age : 34
Location : In the dark, but I can still see you!!!
Age : 16
Writing forte/s : poetry
Registration date : 2006-08-17
| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:33 pm | |
| LOL i guess Im the only one besides you that likes the avatar! *shrugs* oh well. I agree about the rhyme in the second line but no biggie the poem itself is still awesome! | |
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| | Subject: Re: Why I love black. | |
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